These basic wedding guest etiquette tips will help you to be the best behaved guest at the party.
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This post is all about basic wedding guest etiquette.
Spring is the wedding season for many people, so you may find yourself receiving at least one wedding invitation in the mail. If you haven’t been to a wedding in a while, then you may be wondering what to do.
Here, we provide some basic etiquette tips that can help you navigate the wedding guest waters in style.
These tips make it easier to know what to do before, during, and after the wedding—from knowing when to RSVP to choosing what to bring as a gift.
Soon, you’ll become known as the person who knows how to handle this wedding guest business in style. You may even get some ideas for your own wedding or celebration someday.
Even if they don’t tell you this, many people appreciate a well-behaved guest. When you’re the person who always knows what to do, and doesn’t cause too much drama, then you may become known as a person who is a good guest to have at a party.
So, learn a few tips that can help you not only be a great wedding guest, but to also have a great time while you’re there.
Basic Wedding Guest Etiquette Tips
Here are some wedding guest etiquette basics to consider. These tips will have you firmly placed on the best guest list.
1—Do reply to the RSVP by the requested date.
The RSVP card or request is one of the most important parts of a wedding information. Be sure to reply by the requested date to let the bride and groom know whether or not you’ll be able to attend the wedding.
2—Don’t blow off the RSVP.
Even if you can’t attend a wedding, you should probably reply to the RSVP. The information let’s the bride and groom know how many guests to expect and helps it with planning matters, like figuring out the seating chart and catering.
3—Do only bring a plus one (or none!).
Depending on the size of the wedding (and many wedding celebrations are small these days), the bride and groom may have a limited number of places to host guests. So pay attention to what your invitation says. If it says your name plus one, then that usually means that you can invite a guest to attend with you.
Be sure to include the information for the second guest on your RSVP, so that the bride and groom will have an accurate head count. If the invitation says only your name, then you may be the only one invited. Always ask the bride or groom for clarification, if needed, before you RSVP.
4—Do check out the wedding website.
Many couples will establish a wedding website for guests to peruse. This website can be a gold mine of information about the couple, their desires, and what the wedding is all about.
Check out the website to look for information about the wedding event—such as date, time, location, schedule, accommodations, and dress code, and also look to see where the couple has registered (wedding registries can help you find the perfect wedding gift for a couple), and to learn more about their love story.
5—Do pay attention to the dress code.
Often, a wedding invitation will state a dress code for wedding guests to follow. Choose an outfit that you love, but try to keep it up to code.
Unless it’s specifically stated that you should, it’s traditional etiquette that guests should not wear head-to-toe white to a wedding. Try to avoid outfits that are too flashy or provocative.
Pay attention to things like dress or skirt length, and whether or not shoulders should be covered. Unless you’re attending a beach wedding or super casual wedding where this is encouraged, it’s probably not a good idea to wear shorts.
If you are ever in doubt about what to wear to a wedding, ask the bride or groom for advice on what to wear.
Related: What to Wear to a Fall Wedding
Related: What to Wear to a Winter Wedding
6—Don’t try to upstage the bride or groom.
Don’t try to upstage the couple who are getting married. Remember, it’s their big day, and all the attention should be on them. Save the daring outfits and behavior for another time that’s not the wedding.
7—Do send a gift.
According to tradition, wedding guests and interested parties have up to a year following the wedding date to send a gift to the newly wedded couple. Even if you can’t attend the wedding, it can be a good idea to send a gift.
Many couples create an online wedding registry that you can use to find the perfect gift. (If you still need ideas, here are some of our favorite wedding gifts to give to a couple.)
Shop early, since popular gifts and more reasonably priced gifts tend to disappear from the registry quickly. Many couples will include a mailing address to send gifts to. This makes it easier than having to lug big items like a stand mixer, dinnerware set, or vacuum to a wedding.
If you prefer to give money or a gift card instead, place it in an envelope that can be tucked into a gift card box at the wedding.
8—Do show up on time.
Be on time when it comes to arriving at wedding events. It’s a good idea to arrive a little earlier than the stated time. For smaller weddings, arrive at least 30 minutes earlier to give yourself time to enter the venue, find your seat, and take in the scenery.
For larger weddings, you may need to arrive an hour or more before the event starts, so that you have time to find your seat or otherwise get situated. Don’t be surprised if you have to wait in line with other guests.
Give yourself plenty of time to do things like find the location of the wedding, track down a parking space, walk to the venue, visit the powder room, and find your seat. If you do happen to arrive late, then wait for the usher to guide you to a seat.
9—Do plan to attend all of the events that you are invited to.
Plan to attend all of the wedding events that you are invited to, including things like a rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, and wedding reception.
If for some reason you can’t attend, be sure to let the bride and groom know ahead of time, and always send a gift.
10—Don’t spend all your time on the phone.
A wedding is a great time to go phone-free. Turn your phone to silent mode, especially during the wedding ceremony. Don’t spend an excessive amount of time checking your phone, unless there is an important reason to do so.
11—Do learn to make small talk.
The art of making small talk comes in handy at a wedding. You may be surrounded by people that you don’t know, but most of you will have one thing in common: you’re connected to the bride or groom somehow. Figure out this connection, and then find some things to talk about.
Ideas include talking about how you know the bride and groom, where you come from, and what you do for a living. Introduce yourself to the people who are seated at your table, and make small talk with the other wedding guests.
Remember that the wedding couple put a lot of time and energy into planning the seating chart, so it’s usually not encouraged to switch name cards or change your seat. If you do have a problem with where you are sitting, ask the wedding coordinator for assistance.
12—Do have fun.
A wedding can be a fun event, especially if you know a few basic etiquette tips and you go in with the idea that you’re going to be a great guest fat the wedding and enjoy your time there.
Get involved—anticipate the bride arriving at the ceremony, admire the wedding decor and the bridal party’s outfits, cheer when it’s time to cheer, hit the dance floor, admire the wedding cake, greet the couple, and chat with other guests. In other words, join in the celebration.
Pace yourself, especially when it comes to socializing, eating, and imbibing. Have fun, but don’t overdo it. You want to have good memories of the event to share with family and friends.
This post was all about basic wedding etiquette.
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Credits
- Photos by micheile.com || visual stories / Pexels, Lewis Ashton / Pexels, and Stephen Andrews / Pexels
- Photos are for illustrative purposes only.